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A long time ago, somebody dared me to write a romance. I wrote three.
One is an unsalvageable mass of clichés.
One makes no sense and nothing interesting happens until the characters amicably break up, from which point it only follows one of them.
The third is, fortunately, a myth, and there is therefore a much greater tolerance for nonsensical weirdness. However it depicts a relationship between a human and a spider, and they’re too busy rescuing each other from death demons and inventing reincarnation to actually develop a romantic subplot.
None of them have sex, unless you count “And then they had some babies”.
At the time I really beat myself up over these stories and swore they’d never see the light of day again, but in retrospect it all kinda makes sense, and I don’t feel so bad about it. I’m gonna try to salvage that last one. Maybe get some help from romantically inclined friends of mine.